How Not To Suck at Valentines Day

Hello Lovers! Hello Couples; Singles, Best Friends, Moms and Dads and all the rest of us who are just trying to get through next Wednesday without face planting into a steaming pile of cynical resignation (or resorting to foil balloons, stuffed animals or supermarket flowers).   

If you’ve walked into a store of any kind this week, you’ve already been hit in the face with a LARGE assortment of pink and red claptrap designed to compel you to declare your love in retail form. Yes, St. Valentine’s Day, arguably the cheesiest Holiday in the calendar year is fast approaching and you have to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Why? Because if you don’t, you’ll feel bad and if you do something lame, you’ll feel even worse. It’s a terrible proposition no matter what. So why not just shorthand the whole thing and do something AWESOME for yourself (or for someone you love)?

We’re putting out a short Valentine’s Day Primer as a PSA to all the bewildered men and women out there, stuck for tasteful ideas for how to get through it with their dignity intact.

1. PLAN SOMETHING. Whether you’re married with kids, currently unattached or somewhere in the middle, you should plan something special. It could be as simple as a new scented candle, your favorite dessert and a luxurious soak in the tub or as elaborate as a full-blown dinner-and-a-romantic-evening with your special someone. Just plan something spoiling and fun.

Top Tip: Mr. Handsome and I avoid restaurants like the plague on SVD because they are uniformly depressing with little tables set up for two jammed together everywhere and you end up feeling like a boob in a room with a bunch of other boobs over-paying for a sub-par, prix-fixe menu. Make a romantic meal together or get a fabulous takeaway with a great bottle instead! Just an idea.

2. SAY SOMETHING: Write an old-fashioned card and post it in the mail or maybe just send a text to your Brother. You can get in the true spirit of the day by telling the ones that matter to you that you love them.

3. BUY SOMETHING: We’re not trying to be overly commercial, but if you try that thing where you tie a ribbon around ANY part of your person and do the “This is for you, Baby,” routine, that’s not gonna fly Mister. You need to get an actual gift. We recommend avoiding the cliché’ chocolates and red roses, unless you also have something good to hand over. She probably has better taste than you do (just a guess) so why not pick up a gift card from one of her favorite stores and let her choose for herself? That way, you show her you know what she likes but don’t run the risk of disappointment. Plus, most of them can be bought and sent to her inbox in an instant. Delivery by V-Day guaranteed. Clever Clogs.